Evangelical Reality TV Star Si Robertson Reveals: ‘There’s No Such Thing As An Atheist’

NEW YORK — A US reality TV star revealed on Monday that atheists don’t exist. Si Robertson, who appears on the popular TV show “Duck Dynasty,” told the Christian Post that anyone using the term “atheist” is in fact acknowledging Jesus.

Speaking to the newspaper, he said: “There’s no such thing as an atheist. I’m serious, because there’s too much documentation. Our calendars are based on Jesus Christ. Whether you believe in him or not, every time you sign your calendar, you add down the day’s date, you’re saying he’s here, OK? That’s documented.”

Presumably, Robertson was referring to the Gregorian calendar, which boasts month names based on Roman Gods and dictators.

si robertson

Robertson participates in pre-game ceremonies for the Duck Commander Independence Bowl on December 27, 2014 in Shreveport, Louisiana

Still, the Vietnam veteran ploughed on, noting the oft-used idiom: “There are no atheists in foxholes.” He reasoned: “If you get in a serious bind, the first thing you’ll say is [God], please help me.”

Robertson is currently promoting a film about two men who served in Vietnam — a devout Christian and a… skeptic? Yes, skeptic. According to the star, “there are a lot of skeptics.” Just no “atheists.”

Now compare that soiled reasoning with the words of this fine Englishman:

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